A Representative Sample

When I talk to people about my “adventures” on A-M¹, they commonly want to know about the level of conversation on the site. There are a lot of weirdos on the site (and, lately, a lot of spammers), but occasionally there is a diamond in the rough. So the level of conversation is all over the place.

Orgy Woman

Alternate Title: Jennifer Ann wants to fuck me in a crowded room!

I mentioned in another post that I’d been travelling to another town, and I tried Ashley Madison’s Travelling Man feature, which sucks ass. But this was the first time I’d actually logged onto A-M in quite a long time, and an interesting byproduct of the whole adventure was that I had a few women from home notice my presence and message me.

I had only originally planned to be travelling for a week, but plans changed halfway through and I ended up staying a week and a half, including the weekend. Based on the amount of clothing I’d brought, this change of plans meant I’d need to do some laundry, so that’s how I spent my Friday night. (Well, the first part. Then I went out and caught some live music at a nearby bar. But that’s not relevant to the story.)

Ever since I’d sent my Travelling Man spam in A-M my email had been blowin up, so I wasn’t surprised at all when I got another message. Nor was I put off by the fact that this email was from someone in Toronto; I knew I’d be coming back to the city eventually, so it would be nice to have someone to fuck when I got back.

Too Good to be True

One of the features of Ashley Madison that had always fascinated me, yet which I’d never had occasion to use, was the Travelling Man feature. Going to another city for work? Bring your A-M profile with you! Temporarily set it to your new location, so that all the women there who are looking for a one-night stand can start getting in line.

From the moment they introduced the feature, A-M was pimping it hard. Every time you log into the site there’s an animation in the top right corner of the browser of a plane landing, which cuts to a picture of a bed with sheets a-flyin’ – someone’s obviously gettin it on! – and then the man pokes his dishevelled head out, followed by the wide smile of some married lady – followed by the broad smile of another lady! Travelling men, take the hint: All you need to do is use this feature, and you’ll be coated in slick, wet, willing pussies.

Unfortunately, when I finally got the chance to try it out, I found out it’s a terrible feature. You tell it what city you’re going to, set some criteria for the women you’d like to fuck… er… meet, and then it… spams every chick in the city who meets your criteria with your message. That’s it. It doesn’t even change the location of your profile, it leaves you where you are, so anyone logging in from your destination city is not going to see you as being nearby.

Worse than that, it doesn’t use credits, you have to pay separately with a credit card. After being hacked and exposing our credit card information all over the internet, these greedy fools have the gall to demand separate credit card payment for this feature, rather than allowing one to use the credits one has already bought?

But what the hell, right? You only live once, so I figured I’d try it anyway. When I got booked into a travelling assignment, and found myself in a new city for a week, I got myself a burner credit card¹, paid my fee, and sent my message. (It was at this point that I realized Travelling Man is just a big ol’ spam message. Up until now, I was still assuming this was something you’d set on your profile, and then turn off when you go back home.)

Here’s the story.