Everything’s going gr – wait, where did she go?

There isn’t really a “normal” A-M interaction, per se, every exchange with every woman is different. There are some patterns that often get followed, but when you get to the details every interaction has its own unique characteristics. This one, however, was even more different than usual.

Sending a “key” to one’s “showcase”

There are lots of things that A-M gets wrong, and some things it gets right. Actually… I can’t think of much that it gets right, it just happens to be a place where you can go to find married ladies who want to fuck. (And actually… most of them don’t want to fuck, they just want to think about it, and then change their minds later.) (Actually… most of them aren’t real in the first place, they’re either spammers or accounts that A-M staff created to boost their numbers.)

One of the aspects of the site that always makes me laugh, however, is how it treats your photos. Photos are obviously an important part of the process, you can’t know if you want to fuck someone until you see what they look like, so of course A-M has capabilities for handling photos. There is an option for public photos that anyone can see, and, given the nature of the site, an option for private photos that can only be seen by people you specifically grant access. All of this makes perfect sense. In fact, they even have some rudimentary capabilities for editing a photo to insert a mask over your face, so that you can have a public photo that really is you, but still protect your anonymity. Private photos can be sent or requested in isolation, or photos can be attached along with a message.

“I have a weird feeling...”

It started with a “wink”¹ in A-M from some girl²: “Please check out my profile to see if you might be interested in connecting with me. If you are interested, Message Me!” Per usual, I went and checked her profile, which was slightly confusing, because her stats said that she was attached, but her “preferences and encounters I am open to” text said “Single looking for a relation.” I can’t fully parse that English, but it clearly contains the word “single.”

What the Hell You Tryin to Say, Woman?

Probably the number one question I get about Ashley Madison is about the females’ profiles. What do they look like? What do the women say? What do they claim to be looking for? Are they well written, or all chat-speak? And I don’t have a good answer because they’re all over the map. Some are eloquent treatises on the state of human affairs (pun intended), others are a sequence of random syllables thrown together in a language-y manner that resembles – but isn’t quite – English.

Fantasy: First Anal

Nervously, Jan replayed the conversation in her head. Had she said too much? Had she somehow given him an unwanted advantage? He had a knack for getting her to admit more than she wanted to, and the way he seemed to file away information in his head made her nervous. Then again, what did she know? When your boyfriend is an older guy – already finished college! – you sometimes have to trust that he knows what he’s doing.

Well... technically he never used the word “boyfriend,” but they’d been on a few dates and she’d had sex with him on every one, so she knew they had something special, regardless of what he wanted to call it.

The conversation had started out so innocently, and before she knew it they’d been talking about fantasies. And then he somehow got her to admit she’d always wanted to make out with a girl – and not just any girl, he’d managed to get her to admit she had a specific crush on Amber! Amber was Brian’s age, and Jan’s opposite in so many ways: cropped blonde hair in opposition to Jan’s long, brunette do; so confident and outgoing where Jan was shy; tattooed and pierced, while Jan would never consider doing that to herself. It was no wonder Jan wondered what it would be like to kiss Amber; to run her fingers through that short hair.

She already knew Brian’s fantasy, he did’t have to tell her anything, because he’d never made any secret of it: he wanted to do her in the butt. Gross! She blushed at the thought of it. What kind of girls let guys do them in the butt? (Maybe Amber? Jan quickly pushed the thought out of her head.)

Jan already regretted spilling her secret to Brian. He and Amber were acquaintances, and now she was afraid he might tell. She would be so embarrassed if Amber found out!